He Won't Admit It
by Hart-of-Tree-Hill
Summary: "He never stopped loving her, but he loves her too much to let her succumb to mediocrity. Jackie Burkhart is nothing short of sensational. (Not that he'd tell her that though) And he... well he's just not." REPOSTED. An alternate look at Hyde's motivations during season 8. Pairing: J/H A Oneshot for now.


A/N: Ok so I haven't written anything in forever but I was watching That '70s Show today and the idea just came to me. This is sort of just a look at Hyde's inner thoughts in an alternative sort of season 8. Basically, I gave a Hyde a motive for being a complete and total ass during season 8. I might write a 2nd part, I don't know yet, let me know what you think!

"The thought has haunted him ever since he saw how proud of herself she was after the news broadcast. She was great by herself, she didn't need anyone. Especially not a burnout like him.

She had always been 'someone's girlfriend' Kelso's girlfriend, Hyde's girlfriend etc. but maybe her being just Jackie was the best thing for her.

She was the first girl he ever loved and it hurt like hell to let her go. But he won't admit that

He was pissed, irrational and in serious need of getting wasted after he walked into Jackie's hotel room. Why was Kelso almost always at the center of their problems? Why would Jackie, after everything, ditch him for Kelso of all people? The guy who ran into a door more consistently than he went to the bathroom. After an hour of driving with his fists tightly clenching the steering wheel he came to conclusion that he had already known. Nothing had happened between Jackie and Kelso. Kelso was just being...well Kelso, but this provided the perfect excuse for him to end things with her. For now anyway.

Sure he still had a ring burning a hole in his pocket but he could probably sell it for weed or something. Look stop judging, he's doing this for her ok? He'd never tell her that though, his life is so much easier if he just maintains his "aloof, never gave a damn" attitude.

She doesn't need him, Jackie Burkhart is gonna be a successful news anchor and become rich and marry someone who isn't a burnout.

They never would have worked anyway, he doesn't want to settle down and have a family or any of that crap. Besides, after a couple months he'll probably just remember dating Jackie as a brief period of insanity. Ok maybe he won't but he'll just stone himself into oblivion.

Ok he hadn't intended to drunkenly marry a stripper, and would have annulled that shit right away if he hadn't realized that it might help his plan a little.

Blonde wasn't really his type, not anymore at least. Now he was much more attracted to small doe eyed brunettes, with an irrational love of ABBA. Ok maybe not all brunettes that meet that description, not even most, just one.

So he stayed married to, what was her name again? Sarah? Sydney? Whatever, it wasn't important anyway, she was just a catalyst for Jackie to give up on him so she could go and be successful.

Jackie doesn't speak to him much anymore, but in a rare vulnerable moment she asked the question he couldn't possibly answer. "Why Steven?" She asked in an almost uncharacteristically shy voice. "Why would you stay married to her, but you won't even propose to me?"

Ha! Little does she know, but he can't admit the real answer so he settles for a shrug and a simple "I don't know". Before he walks away. He knows she's heartbroken but he can't bring himself to look back. Never has he been more thankful for his concealing sunglasses.

His plan worked too.

Sure enough after he refused to divorce What's Her Name, Jackie gave up on him. Which hurt much more than he thought it would admittedly. In their prior breakups she would still make little comments to him, insulting as they may have been. But now she just didn't speak to him.

Being the expert that he is on all things Jackie (another thing he'd never admit) he knew that silence is the worst possible reaction from Jackie. It means either she despises him with an unbridled hatred or she no longer cares. He isn't sure which hurts more to be honest.

He figures he can numb the hurt with a few beers and maybe a joint. That is until Kelso threatens to ruin his plans. Stupid stupid Kelso.

The moron gets it in his head that Jackie is the one for him and they're meant to be and blah blah blah. He humors the idea to Kelso for a moment, even encourages it.

Not because he wants the two of them back together, that's the last thing he wants, but to give Jackie the chance to see how much she's changed and give her a little confidence.

It's a risky plan he'll admit, but he honestly can't see a scenario where she would actually say yes to Kelso's proposal with a damn balloon (does Kelso even know Jackie at all?). He worries a bit (ok a lot) when he hears that Jackie is excited about Kelso's impending proposal, but he has to hold strong to this. He's stayed married to What's Her Name too long for this to not work. Admittedly the sex isn't bad, but even he knows that isn't a reason to stay married.

He feels a rush of pride when Jackie rejects Kelso and even happy for his friend when he sees that Kelso too didn't really want to marry her.

"I know what you're doing by the way." Kelso says to him shortly after the no-go proposal.

Kelso really figured it out? Kelso? Not possible. So he plays dumb. "Not sure what you're talking about man." He says crossing his arms and leaning against the bannister.

Kelso smiles big and wide, probably a little stoned. "It's not gonna work."

Hyde sighs, the guy is one of his best friends but it's for reasons like this that he punches him so often. "How can it not work if I'm not doing anything?"

It reminds him of a disagreement they had when he and Jackie had first started dating and Kelso had gotten Jackie a birthday gift or something like that. He doesn't remember exactly, only that like now he wanted to punch Kelso. Somehow though those were simpler times.

Kelso scrunches his eyebrows. "How can it work if you're not doing anything?"

He's getting confused. Perfect. "Exactly." He says, and leaves it at that as he struts over to his "wife" and grabs a beer.

Eventually he ends things with What's Her Name, the charade no longer works and they're fighting constantly. The fight just isn't worth fighting when you don't give a damn.

To both his dismay and delight, Jackie maintains her cold attitude towards him even after his divorce.

He's happy to see that she's thriving as a reporter. For some reason, which of course he knows nothing about since she won't speak to him, she seems sad. Not her usual cry and stomp but instead just a quiet sort of sad.

She still sits in the basement with them but she stays silent for the most part, very out of character. She talks to Donna and Fez occasionally but he's not sure if she's said a single word to either him or Randy since their breakup. He really doesn't know if he's more upset that she won't talk to him or that he's lumped in the same group as Randy.

He begins to think that maybe his plan isn't the best when she goes after Fez. Nothing against Fez, he's one of his best friends, but the two are so wrong for each other. Not even wrong in the sense that he and Jackie were, but in a whole other sort of completely wrong.

When Fez turns Jackie down and he sees her heart shatter he feels his do the same, not that he'd admit it. Fez of all people turns Jackie Burkhart down?

His pettiness comes out when he tells Fez to get revenge on Jackie for the revenge she's been getting on him. He figures that if Fez pisses her off enough they won't get together right?

He regrets this almost as much as marrying What's Her Name when Fez says that she's ugly on the inside and outside. He's had the urge to do serious bodily harm to all of his male friends at some point (especially Kelso) but he doesn't think it's been as strong as right now with Fez.

Again. He would never ever admit it, but he and Jackie had spent enough time together that he knows more than anything she fears rejection. She may hide it well behind her cocky self centered attitude, but she's afraid of people leaving her behind. He's guessing being cheated on more times than she can count along with her flaky parents has a bit to do with that. Which makes him feel like more of an ass than ever.

For the first time since their breakup he shows his hand to Jackie a little. He looks at her, green hair and all, and asks, "Are you okay?"

To no surprise at all, a scowl forms on her face and she shuts him down hard. "Why do you care?"

He sighs, "You just look upset and it looks like Fez crossed a line."

"If you must know, no I am not okay. Not that it's any concern of yours but I'm kind of at rock bottom, which is partly thanks to you."

Ok now he really hates himself, more than usual anyway. "Jackie-." He starts only to be cut off.

"I don't want to hear it." She says firmly holding a hand up. "Why don't you just go off and marry another whore, you seem really good at that."

"Technically she was a stripper." Ok he doesn't know why he felt the need to point out this specific.

The now green haired girl, shot him the sharpest glare he'd ever seen her muster up, and then for the first time in months, she kicked him in the shin as hard as she could.  
Damn did it hurt. But in a way it also felt somehow right.

Despite all the pain and hurtful words she still gets together with Fez. It's in this moment that he realizes his plan was absolute shit. Completely and totally.

It's the last day of their beloved decade, Forman's home, everyone is gathered upstairs ready for the turn of the decade. All seems right, except it's not.

He's sure it might be the beer talking (but probably not) but he's just about ready to go and tell Jackie how stupid he was. Tell her to dump Fez, screw his pride, allow her to kick him in the shins as many times as she wants. Tell her that marrying what's her name was stupid, but his biggest regret was leaving her. Tell her about his stupid plan, how he just wanted the best for her. Tell her that if she wants to they can go get married right now, but not in Vegas for obvious reasons.

But he won't admit that. He won't admit any of that.

The amount of beer it would take to get him to would kill him.

He's not worried that she and Fez will end up together, he gives them two weeks tops.

After that maybe he'll ask her if they can start fresh.

But he won't. That can just be added to the list of things he won't admit.

A/N: Good? Bad? I know Hyde might have seemed OOC but it can't be nearly as OOC as he was during season 8. Let me know if you want me to write this from Jackie's POV or maybe a continuation? Both? Let me know in a review!


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